


Moment of Clarity

by idiotbrothers



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Body Image, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-17
Updated: 2016-05-17
Packaged: 2018-06-08 23:43:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6880369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idiotbrothers/pseuds/idiotbrothers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arin grapples with the green-eyed monster.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Moment of Clarity

**Author's Note:**

> Obligatory Disclaimer: I made this shit up. 
> 
> Also, if you're affiliated with GG, kindly don't drag me (by which I mean that I don't grant permission for my works to be shared anywhere else).

"Gimme a couple minutes, yeah? I need to take a breather."

Arin nodded agreeably at Dan, twisting his pen between his fingers as he did so. "Sure thing, dude! Take your time." Dan huffed out a relieved sigh and placed a palm over his chest, sinking back into the couch and letting his eyes flutter shut. Arin peeked at him out of the corner of his eye, wondering how much longer it would take for Dan to get totally comfortable recording the show with him. It had been a month so far, and Dan still seemed like he was out of his element at certain moments, but Arin was pretty sure that was because he was over-thinking this whole thing. Dan was a charismatic, funny, easygoing conversationalist; and he had one hell of an infectious laugh. There was no doubt in Arin's mind that he would win over the majority of the fans sooner rather than later. He just needed to break through his own mental barriers first.

Arin sucked on his bottom lip as he considered that, turning his head to look at Dan properly. His eyes were still closed, lashes fluttering slightly as he breathed in and out deeply, as if to center himself in the meditative sense. _Handsome motherfucker_ , Arin thought, completely out of nowhere. There was a sort of unsettling edge to that observation, a jaggedness to it that made Arin's chest feel a bit too tight. He frowned. Which was when Dan opened his eyes and beamed at him, sitting forward with determination gleaming in his gaze. "Okay, let's do this shit. Three more hours to go." Arin cleared his throat and shook off the weird fog that had crept into his head for a minute there. He returned Dan's smile and reached for his Wii controller, his mouth already forming the words _Welcome back to Game Grumps_. 

* * *

 "People _do_ make me look really good in fan art, don't they."

Arin didn't look at Dan as he said this, keeping his eyes on his phone as he scrolled trough his twitter feed. Dan was instantly apologetic. "Uh, you know I didn't mean anything by that, right? It was just a stupid throwaway comment." Arin had kind of been fishing for a response like that one, but somehow it didn't give him any satisfaction.

"I mean, yeah, but it's not like you were wrong. I actually look attractive in fan art. Nice of the lovelies to humor me that way." Arin tentatively looked up to see that Dan was legitimately pouting at him, his eyebrows furrowed with exasperation. "Arin, shut your fuckin' mouth. You're great."

Arin squinted at him skeptically, to which Dan tugged on his arm and added, "You're cute as shit, and you make all the girlies swoon." Arin snorted loudly. "Dan Avidan: straight-up liar."

"Ariiiiin!" 

"Hey, whatever, man! It's not like it really matters to me that I'm not some grade-A hunk of meat. I'm just being realistic." They let the topic drop eventually, but Arin's thoughts lingered on it for a little while longer. He fixated in particular on the fact that Dan hadn't seemed to notice that Arin was drawn as a cartoonishly fugly caricature just as often as he was drawn to look exaggeratedly hot. Of course, Arin didn't begrudge the fans; hell, he found those depictions just as funny as they were probably intended to be, but what _did_ bother him was Dan's skewed awareness of how Arin was portrayed.

His brain started to hurt when he attempted to pinpoint why that was, so he forced himself to stop thinking about it. 

* * *

Arin and Ross had burned almost thirty minutes re-watching NSP videos, hunched together and staring at the screen of Ross's tablet. Since becoming friends with Dan, Ross had stopped being a wide-eyed NSP fanboy, but he occasionally liked to give himself a refresher on their songs when enough time had passed. He had been doing just that when Arin saw what he was watching and immediately joined him.

Arin's eyes followed the small Dan on the screen as he gesticulated and tossed his wild hair around, his patented blue cape bouncing in time with his clunky sneakers. Even in that ridiculous getup, Arin thought, he was still nice to look at. A flare of annoyance caught him by surprise, and he tightened his jaw to try to ground himself. The video ended, and Ross clicked through to the next one, which happened to be Dinosaur Laser Fight. "Oh, c'mon, switch it to something else," Arin groaned, put off by the idea of watching his old drawings parade across the screen, especially with Ross sitting right next to him. "No way!" Ross exclaimed, yanking the tablet away from Arin's buzzkilling hands. "It's my fucking favorite. And the animation still holds up, you moron. It's cute!" 

"What are you guys watching?" As if summoned, Dan was suddenly in the room, his head tilted curiously. The sound of the song piping through the tablet's speakers answered his question for him. "Oh!" Dan said, going over to stand by Ross's shoulder and watch with him. "This one's my favorite," Dan murmured, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"I thought your favorite was Unicorn Wizard," Arin piped up. Dan eyeballed him sort of judgmentally. "It's _ours_ , Arin. Which makes it an all-time favorite in my book." Arin's cheeks warmed at that, and he quickly glanced down at his hands. "Yeah."

Ross elbowed Arin in the side teasingly, smirking at him. "Someone's _embarrassed_ ," he said in an infuriating sing-song voice, dodging when Arin tried to grab him in a headlock. "I'm gonna fuckin'...sit on you, Ross. Gonna crush your tiny pelvis with my ass." 

"Don't touch me, I'll kill you." 

"Oooh, I'm so scared." 

Dan ignored them both, curling up on the couch to watch the rest of the video, his glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose. He had a soft smile on his face the whole time. Inexplicably, it hurt to look at him, so Arin didn't, channeling his pent-up energy into chasing Ross around the room. 

* * *

"Dude, Arin, can't you pose normally for a picture just this once?"

Arin raised an eyebrow at Dan. "The fuck does it matter?" Dan rubbed at his forehead tiredly. "It _matters_ because when I'm in motherfuckin' Jersey for the next _five weeks_ , I want something to remember your stupid ass by."

"Wow, Dan. If it's my ass you wanted, you could've just asked."

"Shut up and take this damn picture with me. And I swear to god, if you make another weird face..." 

Arin rolled his eyes and muttered several choice expletives under his breath, but squeezed in next to Dan anyway, pointing his face at the camera and letting Dan drape his arm over his shoulders. Arin tried to smile, he really did.

"You look constipated," Dan groaned, waving his phone in Arin's face incriminatingly.

"Well, you don't exactly look like a million bucks, either. The bags under your eyes are stickin' out like crazy." 

"Thank you very much, Arin. How super nice of you to point that out." 

Arin grimaced, real anger beginning to pulse under his skin. "Oh, boohoo. So you're exhausted, join the fucking club." Dan gave Arin a surprised, wounded look at this, his jaw dropping open. Arin felt like a heap of garbage. Which only irritated him further.

"Man, even when you're a sickly bag of snot and sweat, everyone's all, 'How cute is Dan? I'd let him _rail_ me. The moisture on his clammy skin makes him glow like a _god_ ' ". 

"Wait, wait, Arin-" 

"We might as well not post any pictures of us together. I'm just gonna get cropped out anyway. And I don't really blame them for that? 'Cause I'm just a big doof, and you're, like, Mr. Fuckable, or whatever." 

"Arin-" 

"Even if it's a picture for your eyes only, you can't tell me the contrast doesn't make you laugh sometimes. It's like part of our shtick. The fat slob and the skinny ladies' man." 

" _Arin!_ " Dan grabbed his hands to get his attention, his eyes burning with something unreadable. Looking at him made Arin feel like he might begin to cry, which was stupid and childish and totally unacceptable. He pressed his mouth shut and mentally berated himself for being such a whiny pissant.

"Don't talk about yourself like that, man. How long has this been bothering you?" Arin shrugged wordlessly, focused on Dan's warm fingers clasping his own trembling ones. "Arin, you're getting this all twisted. It's not as bad as you think it is."

"What do you mean?" Arin gritted out.

"I mean, I'm not some untouchable Adonis to the fans; plenty of people hate me. And plenty of people love _you_ just the way you are."

Arin looked at the ground. "You don't get it." 

"What don't I get? Please explain whatever this is to me, 'cause I'm suddenly really worried about you." 

"I...Fuck, this is the pettiest shit, I can't even rationalize it to myself." Dan stroked his thumb over Arin's left hand encouragingly, and Arin sucked in a sharp breath.

"I've just...always been kinda jealous of you. Of, like, everything about you." 

Dan blinked. "Why? Do you know how much of my happiness I owe to you? You're amazing."

Arin fidgeted uncomfortably. "I'm..." 

"You _are_. Cold hard fact." 

"That's not..."

Arin couldn't find the right words to express himself, couldn't show Dan why he was wrong, and that made a knot of frustration form in his chest. His vision blurred as hot tears seeped out of his eyes, and he thought, _That's just fuckin' great_.

"Woah, Arin, are you - are you okay?" 

Arin pulled his hands out of Dan's grasp and scrubbed at his eyes irritably, nodding abruptly.

"Can we pretend this conversation never happened? You don't have to think about me at all for the next month. Just go be with your family, put my melodramatic bullshit out of your mind, and when you come back we'll do Grumps like normal. Easy peasy." 

Dan shook his head and took a step closer, putting his hand on Arin's shoulder. "That's impossible. Do you know how often you cross my mind on any given day?" 

Arin sniffed. "No?" 

"You're an idiot." 

"I thought I was _amazing_ ," Arin couldn't help but say, smiling a little bit despite himself.

Dan grinned at him, sliding his hand up so that it was cupping the nape of Arin's neck. Arin was taken completely by surprise when Dan leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He flushed, unable to look at Dan as he asked, "What was that for?" He could hear the smile in Dan's voice when he answered, "I dunno, just showing my appreciation. As bros do."

He dutifully kissed Arin's other cheek, making Arin stare at him with confusion. "You're being super gay right now," he said, more out of bewilderment than anything else. 

"Would it be gay if I told you I've always really liked your nose?" 

Arin was having a hard time figuring out Dan's angle here. "My _nose_?" 

"Yeah, dude. It's adorable." As if to punctuate this statement, Dan pressed a soft kiss to the tip of Arin's nose.

"Just like your fuckin' huge eyes. And your _arms_. And that stupid flippy thing your hair does when you grow it out."

Arin's heart stuttered, urgently telling him to walk away before he did something reckless. "That's the gayest thing anyone's ever said to me," Arin said, his voice quiet and subdued, at odds with the alarm bells ringing in his head. Dan was smiling at him, looking pleased with himself. "Yeah? What do I win?"

Arin grasped Dan's chin and kissed him right on the mouth. 

* * *

Before Dan left for New Jersey the next morning, he and Arin took another picture together. In this one, Arin wore a genuine smile, his eyes gleaming with pride and contentment. 

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: @regretroids


End file.
